Monday, March 5, 2012

Shanay and the Janitor

There are some institutions I just hate dealing with. They infuriate me to the point I want to scream and make me as stressed as the Pope in a whore house.
Lately I have been dealing with the Arkansas Dept. of Finance and Administration (in other words – the tax bastards) and I seem to be getting nowhere. They have me oweing 2x the amount I actually owe and I can not seem to get anyone on the phone that knows what they are doing and NONE of them seem to care one bit about my questions and concerns.
I called the 800 number I was given and all it consisted of was a recording of a person telling you to call another number. Why in the hell don’t they just give you the number they want you to call in the first place? Why the 800 number decoy? That’s just bullshit.

I called the new number and waited for over 20 minutes for a “customer service professional” as they put it. Finally I hear, “Dis Shanay, what you need?”
I tell Shanay of my dilemma and Shanay tells me I need to call the 800 number.
“No.” I say. “I just did that and was instructed to call you.”
She says, “Well I ‘sho don’t know why it wudda done did dat.” (yes, she said - done did dat.)
I reply, “I don’t either Shanay, but since you’re on the phone can you help me?”
“Not really ‘cuz it fo’ fitteen and I gets off at ‘fo turdy, but lets me gives you a numba to call.”
“Gee…thanks, Shanay.”

I call the number she gives me and actually get someone on the phone right off. That’s the good news. The bad new is it must have been the janitor because when I asked for help he said, “There ain’t nobody here right now.” And promptly hung up.

Today I called again. At noon. Plenty of time for someone, should I get a hold of anyone, to help me…or so you would think.
I call the “not 800 number” that Shanay gave me and after 15 minutes of listening to The Captain and Teneal I get Norma on the line.
I tell Norma my situation and she gives me a number to call.
Oh but wait, I look at the number and it’s Shanay! Oh HELL no!
“Uh Norma….I already called this number you’re trying to give me. Shanay can’t help me and I don’t think she cares.”
“Shanay is just like that”, she says. “You just have to ignore her.”
“Well Norma, if it’s all the same to you, is there someone else I can talk to?”
“I can give you our 800 number.”
“NO!!” Crap! WTF??

I finally persuade Norma to at least try and help me. Begrudgingly she pulls up my file and we identify the amount I am questioning. She actually was a bit of help and answered a few questions. When she realized it was her lunch hour coming up she said, “That’s pretty much all I can do for you right now but I’ll tell you what. I’m going to give you a number to call. We don’t usually give this one out but when you get them on the line don’t tell them you have already talked to me or anyone in my department. After you talk to them you call me back at this number and I will update your file. Be sure to call me back because they won’t update your file and remember….DO NOT tell them you have already talked to me.”

I haven’t called the number yet but I’m pretty sure it’s the janitor.