There is a guy from Scotland that was arrested for having sex with his bike.
It’s really true so I’ll let that soak in a minute…..tap, tap, whistle, whistle, tap, tap…..
This story disturbs me on many levels but I can only imagine the police interview after his arrest:
Detective: Do you confess to having sex with a bicycle?
Bike Humper: Yes.
Detective: Was it a woman’s bicycle or a man’s bicycle?
Bike Humper: Dude, I’m not gay.
Detective: The fuck????!!!
I have to wonder if this freakazoid is exclusively attracted to bicycles, or are other inanimate objects just as sexy? If so, I envy him on some level. There would be no such thing as a boring night at home. “ Well, helllllooooo…Lamp! Wadaya doin’ later?”
He probably has his own set of private jokes he uses around the house:
“Well, there’s nothing on TV tonight,” …pause for humorous effect…”except ME!”
I’m thinking he might have done a unicycle but his mom told him it would make him blind.