Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Why toenail flavored mittens help the economy! Or..A Monkey with a Leaf.

Think about all the people working and earning paychecks from companies that will ultimately fail. It’s a lot of people. But until those companies fail, the employees are getting paid, buying goods, and contributing to the economy. After the failure, those employees hop over to another sinking ship, and so on.

Within successful companies, a huge portion of resources are dedicated to projects and products that will ultimately fail. But in the meantime, everyone is getting paid and propping up the economy.

I understand the math of capitalism, and how the few successes are so large they pay for all the failures and then some. But at any given moment, the majority of resources in a capitalist system are being pushed over a cliff by morons. This fascinates me. And it’s clearly the reason that humans rule the earth. We found a system to harness the power of stupid.

In the rest of the animal kingdom, being a moron is nothing but bad. A moron lion, for example, who can’t catch anything to eat, is adding nothing to the lion economy. But a moron human who starts a business selling toe nail flavored mittens is stimulating the economy right up until the point of going out of business and opening a business selling pizza flavored ear muffs, in Phoenix. On so on and so on.

My point is that I hope the monkeys that already know how to use sticks for tools don’t start using leaves for money. If that happens, we’re screwed.


  1. What does toenail flavor taste like?

  2. I don't think I want to know what toenail flavor tastes like. I had one hit me in the eye once and I didn't like it at all.