Sunday, January 31, 2010

*'s are totally hot

It’s possible that the most obscene letter in the alphabet is the asterisk.
Think about it. It appears in almost every naughty word you see in print, from f*ck to p*ssy to c*ck. You can’t even pronounce the word “asterisk” without saying *ss.

That smutty little character is attracted to obscenity like flies to sh*t.
I guess the asterisk protects you from seeing naked cuss words that would otherwise blind you but when you cover a naughty word’s genitalia with an asterisk, no one knows what the f*ck you’re trying to say.

That’s why it’s totally safe!
Some folks reading this blog might wonder how the asterisk protects them, since theoretically you could do your own research and discover that sh*thead does not mean asking a guy named Thead to be quiet. But that’s a lot of work and no one gives a f*ck.

Let me explain it this way: It’s completely safe to THINK naughty words. And it’s safe to cause other people to think naughty words.
But if you spell those naughty words without the asterisk loin cloth to protect your victims, you’re a danger to society.
I know this to be true because I heard it from lots of people who have sh*t-for-brains.

Well that, and it was published in the New England Urinal of Mufficine.

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